I’m in the market for a new alarm clock.
Now, see, I’m kind of an oddity among alarm clock users. I’ve never used a snooze button, and I live in such fear of loud, screechy buzzes that I usually wake up half an hour before the alarm just to anticipate it and turn it off. In general, I wake up to music and lie in bed for a while until my body makes me get up or the half-hour timer ends, whichever comes first.
Currently, I have an older version of this little number. It’s great, except for a few problems.
First, while I LOVE the ceiling display, you can’t see it in a room that’s even the tiniest bit light. The same goes for the front display. Kind of defeats the purpose of a clock when you can’t, you know, see what time it is.
Second, some of the sound functions failed really early on. I got it in December of ’06, and I kind of liked the “crashing surf” noise. I kind of liked the “summer night” noises, too, except that the loop was so short the crickets got predictable 😛 Unfortunately, they only lasted about four months. Still, it worked really well as an iPod player until about three weeks ago. Right now the only sound function that works is the radio, and it didn’t help my mood to wake up to the NPR pledge drive every morning. (Some might say we could stop that by just giving enough money to shut them up for another year, but I digress.)
So. What to do?
There’s always Clocky, an alarm clock that actually jumps off your nightstand and runs away from you until you turn it off. When I first heard of Clocky, I slept with a quilt (referred to by name as “Quilt”) of which I was very fond. Which prompted the following discussion:
Friend: I think getting Clocky and Quilt together would be counterproductive. Clocky would try to get you out of bed, whereas Quilt would just want you to stay in bed and snuggle.
Me: Cutest fight ever.
There’s always the Turing alarm clock (makes you prove you’re awake by solving five quick math problems).
And in high school, my brother had a Sanrio alarm clock shaped like a cow that rang a cowbell and said (in a voice eerily reminiscent of Arnold Schwarzenegger) “Moooooo! Wake up! Don’t sleep your life away!”
Alas, however, I don’t think that my alarm clock style is well suited for the creme de la creme of wakeup calls: the Stephen Fry alarm clocks.
Others of note on this list:
Nobby (taunts you until you wring its neck)
Sonic Alarm grenade (a cruel, cruel joke to play on your children)
ThinkGeek’s Laser Target (won’t stop until you shoot the laser directly into the bullseye)
Kuku alarm clock (lays eggs; won’t stop crowing until you put the eggs back in the basket)